It's great that you're trying to show affection to Liam. But I don't think he likes being licked.

    I weird.  I don't mean I'm weird like I shaved my eyebrows off though.  I feel weird.  I'm in a really bad mood then I'm fine and I just float around.  I listen to Joni Mitchell and Neil Young and Ralph Mctell and Patty Griffin and I just cry.

    I'm not sure what I'm crying about half the time.  But I heave and cry and before I know it my cheeks are wet and my face bright red.

    That kind of weird.

    For instance, it's 5:48 and I am in my pajamas.  My dad says that it's just today, the overcast skies and the humidity but I feel all clogged in the head and gorged in my organs.

    Want to know what's sad?  The Saturday after Danielle died I was taking a shower and listening to music and City Of New Orleans came on.  I don't know why but this somehow prompted my to cry like I was five, with trembling lips and fast, hyper ventilating breaths.  And now I can't listen to that song without thinking about Danielle, though I don't think she even knew the song.

    I'm just a loser.  That's how I feel.  Just another fuckin' idiot.  I don't whats happened to my smidgeon of self-esteem but it's gone and I'm left lying here all empty.

    I need to write.  I need to read.  I need to be smart.  But I don't think I'm kidding anyone anymore.